by Kalie Souknary
Blog Content Contributor
*KTSW consists of and respects varying opinions within its staff. Opinion articles do not reflect the opinion of KTSW as a whole.
We all know someone (or multiple someones) who hate talking about their feelings. Many of these people have simple excuses, and while some can be valid, others are just said in doubts. When it comes to people who do like to talk about their feelings, we get extremely frustrated when all we want to do is help.
- “I don’t want to burden others.”
When someone asks you what’s wrong, it’s not because we want you to burden us. Why would we ever ask you what’s wrong if we didn’t care? I know lots of people who I wouldn’t even care to ask even if I could see it in their face that they’re having a bad day. On the other hand, I care a lot about the people in my life and their happiness is very important to me, therefore hearing about their problems is nothing near a burden to me. Those of us who love like this are just people who genuinely want to help and we will never understand why you won’t let us.
- “It doesn’t help” otherwise known as, “It doesn’t solve anything.”
You’re right. We might not be able to change the problem by talking about it. But when you are stressed, you feel a weight on your shoulders. Carrying a burden alone and never expressing how you feel isn’t healthy. Talking about it will at least help you think about it out loud and new solutions may even click into your mind when you talk about things. For the people who like to talk about their feelings, if we offer to talk about your problems with you, it’s because we want you to experience the relief that comes with talking it out. We will never understand why you wouldn’t want that relief.
- “It’s no one else’s problem but my own.”
This goes back to burdening others. You’re completely right, it’s not anyone else’s problem but your own (unless others are involved) but you should allow others to be there for you. This really only means that you have people in your life who genuinely care about you and that is such a blessing. People in this world could pass by you, get to know you, and still not give a shit about you. Instead of being worried about burdening others, be thankful that you have people that give a shit enough to even ask.
- No one would understand.
Everyone knows that you never truly understand the struggles of others until you walk a mile in their shoes. Have you ever met someone that looked like they had a perfect life and you couldn’t imagine them ever going through anything you’ve been through? And then you get to know them and it turns out they’ve been through half of the things you’ve been through? That’s what you’re missing. Someone who understands. Someone who’s been there. Someone who may even know exactly what you need to do! The only thing you’re doing by not talking is shutting out possible solutions, which prolongs your struggles.
I understand that not talking can be a personality thing. “That’s just who I am.” Okay, but maybe you should try to open up sometimes. You would be surprised as to how much it can help. Some of us open up as we get closer to people, some of us open up after we can’t take it anymore, and some of us only open up to God. Bottling things up is a terrible idea. It brings stress into your life that can easily be relieved if not solved at all. Our jobs as people is to be here for each other. Yes, there are people who will use you and things about you against you. That’s part of the territory. But there are legitimate people who truly care for you and want to help. I consider everyone in my life a blessing because I know I can talk to them. Otherwise they would not be a part of my life. If you can’t rely on others, why are they there?
“Lean on me when you’re not strong.” Very cheesy, I know. But you should learn to trust others. No one should ever be alone. We are not built for that.