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To the Girl who Just Got Out of a Long Term Relationship

Kalie Souknary
Web Content Contributor

Dear you,

I bet you feel so crushed right now. You probably feel like your heart has been ripped out of your chest and stomped on until there was nothing left but a pile of dead vessels. You’re lost, confused, angry, devastated, and wondering where to go from here. And I totally understand. It wasn’t long ago that I was in the same position you’re in now. Along with a billion other girls, I know what it feels like to cry endlessly, amazed that I even have enough liquids in my body to produce tears. I know what it’s like to have to pick myself up off the floor, look in the mirror, and tell myself it will be okay even though it felt like it never would again. But here’s the thing: it does end up being okay.

You’re at a point in your life now where you have to learn how to be an individual. An actual individual who does things by herself and is okay with it! That sounds so hard, doesn’t it? I know you just want to call or text your ex to join you in whatever activity you’re doing, but you just can’t. This is a time where you have to stand on your own two feet and learn how to walk alone. I know you’re used to the comfort and the familiarity, but just think about it this way: a whole new world has just opened up for you. A world where you aren’t obligated to anyone, a world that doesn’t ever require you to plan your days according to someone else’s time, and world that allows you to open up to brand new people.

Take a good look at yourself right now. If your eyes are swollen and your lips puffy from crying, you are at “rock bottom.” This is as low as it’s going to get– and I know that sounds awful. But in this context, it really is because each day you will continue to grow into the person you are supposed to be. You’ll discover things about yourself that you never thought were even capable, you’ll blow your own mind, you’ll be more observant of people, and you’ll start to understand how the world works in a new perspective.

I know this sounds so cliche, but everything happens for a reason. Maybe that reason was to help you re-focus on yourself. Maybe that reason was to force you to mature. Or maybe the best person for you is right around the corner and it’s time to get ready to meet him! No matter what, just know that in time you will learn the reason and you will be thankful your past didn’t go as you planned. Every day you have to get up and continue life as normal because time does move on and you can’t just lay down and feel sorry for yourself. You have to get up and do your best to better yourself. No matter what, you have to come out on top. That’s probably the best advice I’ve ever received from a friend I met freshman year– come out on top. Don’t pity yourself, don’t beg for sympathy, and don’t isolate yourself from the world. This world has so much to offer and you should not only see it, but be a part of it. YOU have so much to offer this world. YOU are worth it. So get out there, you beautiful being, and re-introduce yourself to the world.

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