Shattering What Society Calls Masculine

todayNovember 19, 2017 70 2

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By DeMornay Harper
Blog Content Contributor

As humans we all possess some kind of balance of masculinity and femininity. The idea that women are more encouraged to share the masculine sides of their personality is one that is common in our society. Women who like traditionally “masculine” things like football and video games are seen to be some kind of cherished unicorn among other women through the male gaze. But we’re expected not to take this too far, and actually be an intimidating boss babe because most men can’t handle all of that lady power. (However, that is a conversation for another time.)

In contrast, when men try and embrace sides of their femininity, it is hardly ever held with the same awe. On the contrary, it is considered weak and docile by the world around us. Nevertheless, I can feel the tides changing. Women no longer tolerate the man who cannot connect to his emotions and express them in a healthy manner. We encourage communication and mutual understanding.

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Masculinity is not tied to a hairstyle, or anything else. Masculinity comes from the man. Photo by DeMornay Harper.

I feel that men are feeling more comfortable being their full selves now even in their physical appearance. Men that grow out their hair to lengths that seemed “girly” 10 years ago are now seen as attractive. The man-bun is the way now, and San Marcos men wholeheartedly embrace this trend. So many men, my boyfriend included, have even surpassed the “man-bun” and have graduated to a full-on topknot. They have shattered the physical standard of what masculinity looks like.

My grandpa for as long as I can remember has sat with his legs crossed. Not with the ankle resting on my knee crossed but full-on Princess Diana, crossed at the knee. It is such a traditionally feminine pose that he was so obviously comfortable in that I took notice at a young age. He is the type of person that commands respect so it didn’t make me question his manliness. It made me question what being manly even was.

When men embrace traditionally womanly traits as their own with such confidence, it makes them a thousand times more masculine then the guy that doesn’t want to “seem gay” so he acts like some kind of unfeeling robot. No one wants the men of this world to be scared to express themselves for fear of seeming too girlish. Men are complex, multi-faceted beings that deserve the right to act as such without society trying to degrade them.

We support you, embrace you and just want to see you shine in your full truth.

Featured image by DeMornay Harper.

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  1. Tria on December 5, 2017

    Love this article. I think the reason why people look for “signs” that being masculine or feminine is due to history. Many, many, many people have hidden their sexuality because of the harassment and even death received by those who were found out to be gay. Many people found themselves in artificial relationships and living a fake life. I think this caused people to start to look superficially for “signs” to determine ones sexual preference. Gay is not a way a person act or dress it is simply a sexual preference. Until we as the human race can completely accept everyone as equal, it will continue to be a judgement call on the perceived actions of masculine and feminine.

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