How to Defend Yourself From a Clown Attack

By Alisa Pierce
Blog Content Contributor

Texas State students are usually worried about cricket infestations around this time, but right now, students are concerned about a serious clown problem. That’s right, San Marcos hasn’t been left out of the strange phenomenon that’s sweeping the nation. Creepy clowns are taking over the Texas State campus and surrounding areas, and residents are becoming increasingly concerned. Although not all of the clowns in San Marcos are violent, some have exhibited alarming behavior.

On Monday, Oct. 3, a student living in Bobcat Village was grabbed by a clown wearing a black and white jumpsuit. The victim was able to pull away from the clown and escape, but unfortunately, the attacker left the scene before police arrived. Another clown was seen carrying a chainsaw around popular San Marcos apartments, but no details were provided on what the clown looked like or if he could be the same one that attacked the Bobcat Village resident.

As alarming as this is, remember that many of these clowns are just harmless pranksters, and by no means should you seek them out. They’re most likely jokesters looking for a laugh, so do not try to harm them if they are not doing anything to you. Approaching a non-violent clown and hurting them would be assault and you will be arrested. However, if these clowns or anyone else tries to harm you, try to remember these self-defense tips:

Fight or Flight

Don’t let your inexperience hinder you while being attacked. Remember that your knees, elbows and legs are good parts of your body to inflict pain on an assailant. If someone grabs you, try to fight back in any way that you can, no matter how experienced of a fighter you are. However, don’t be stupid. If the attacker is at a distance, don’t approach. Avoid them as best as possible. If they start to run or walk towards you, find the nearest populated area where you can find help and call the police. There’s nothing wrong with running away from a threat, especially if that means avoiding harm.

Pressure Points

There are specific points on the body that hurt more if hit, such as the eyes, throat and groin area. If a clown or anyone else tries to hurt you, try inflicting harm in these areas. A good punch to the face will give you enough time to escape, but if the attacker is already in close range and trying to grab you, a knee to the crotch or elbow to the throat will work just as effectively.

These people might seem scary, but they’re humans just like the rest of us and won’t enjoy having their nose broken.

Get Loud

Once an attacker touches you, start to make as much noise as possible. Start screaming for help and for the assailant to leave you alone. This alerts people near by that you’re being attacked, and also might scare the attacker off. Yelling loudly can cause the attacker to think you’re not an easy target or that they won’t have enough time to mug you. No matter what time of the day it is, screaming for help can be seriously beneficial.

Mace and Other Objects

Mace is an effective weapon that a lot of people use against attackers. However, it’s very easy to use mace incorrectly, so read carefully if looking to use this as a way to protect yourself.

To use mace correctly, slip your thumb under the safety cover and stay ready to use it. Don’t forget that the safety cover will conceal the red button on the canister so that you don’t accidentally use it, so you’ll need to slip your thumb under the cover to reach the button. If you need to use your mace, press the red button while pointing towards the face of the attacker. Once the assailant is incapacitated, leave the area as quickly as possible to find help and call the police.

You can also use every day objects to protect yourself. You can use a key or pen between your middle and ring finger to stab an attacker. You can also throw or spray dirt, sand or perfume into their eyes. Use whatever you have to protect yourself.

Hopefully no clowns try to attack you, but if they do, remember these tips. However, avoiding these pranksters is the best way to protect yourself, so under no circumstances should you approach them. You’re not Batman – leave bringing the clowns to justice to the police.