By Janessa Rutiaga
Blog Content Contributor
According to loveisrespect.org, roughly half of women dating in college report violent and abusive behavior in their relationships. This doesn’t even include men’s reports or their statistics, but it happens to men too. Domestic violence isn’t talked about nearly enough and it should be. Domestic violence is often seen as a prelude to other crimes. Such as: sexual assault, stalking, and even murder/suicides. College students, as well as high school students, should recognize the signs before it’s too late.
Domestic violence usually goes unreported. Women become scared of their abuser, and are threatened if they tell anyone about being abused. They also might believe that their abuser will change, and accept the apologies they’re given. Abused men are often ridiculed, and more times than not their reports are taken as a joke. However, all this aside, report it anyway. Report it as soon as it happens and tell someone. That way, whether you choose to leave or not, it’s documented and will be there as proof in case anything else happens.
My advice to you is to get out now before it’s too late. Get out before things escalate so much you’re scared all the time. You don’t hear about what long term affect can happen in an abusive relationship, and they’re not pretty. People that have been in a violent relationship are at much higher risk for eating disorders, drug and substance abuse, and suicide. There have been cases of domestic suicide leading to murder/suicide.
If you’ve realized that your partner is abusive and you’re preparing for a breakup, I have some advice for you. If you’re already at the point of being scared by your partner, breakup over the phone, or through text/email. Don’t feel guilty about this, you’re putting yourself first and there’s nothing wrong with that. Start changing your passwords for all of your accounts, even if you didn’t share your accounts. If you go out places, don’t check in anywhere for a while and don’t let your friends tag you or mention you at places. This is just a precaution for your own safety.
If you’ve been in a violent relationship, then there was most likely a controlling aspect of it as well. It might be strange, you’ll have all the control back in your life and all choices will be yours to make. Embrace it, and don’t fear it. Don’t try and reconcile with your Ex, embrace being in control of your life again.
Domestic Violence isn’t talked about nearly enough, and it should be. If you feel like you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence talk to someone, look online at loveisrespect.org for the signs of an abusive relationship. Don’t ever be afraid of being on your own, or of leaving your partner. You need to put you first. Be selfish and greedy, and always put your well-being above all else. Find your slice of sunshine, get out of that nightmare. Nobody deserves to be in that situation.