Livin’ La Vida Trump’a

By Jakob Rodriguez
Opinions Columnist at The University Star

Donald Trump was elected president on Nov. 8, 2016, and was inaugurated into office Jan. 20. A year later, Americans are still divided into factions dependent on who they voted for and live in a mass state of confusion and bewilderment.

Hillary Clinton was prosecuted and is currently serving time in prison after a court case that was widely televised by the Trump organization. Clinton became the new age Nelson Mandela and her supporters constantly protest and wear shirts proclaiming “#FreeHillary,” “#HarambeforHilary” and “#I’mInThereWithHer.”

Bernie Sanders, the only candidate who truly appealed to millennials and seemed like a sure thing, now leads a group of Americans who claim to be “The New Democratic Party.” The members love his policies but didn’t show up to vote during the candidate nomination period because they don’t believe in the institution of voting.

Gary Johnson and Jill Stein, who had nothing to lose going into the election, both became irrelevant to everyone’s lives.

trumpThe U.S. began the construction of a wall that Mexico did not pay for. The wall was largely contested, especially in south Texas where borders become skewed as a result of private landowners. Because the government doesn’t own a land buffer on the border, they bought the land at a cheap price and as a consequence, people were thrown off land their family had owned for generations.

Life in Washington D.C. has also changed drastically. Many Congress members and various other politicians are confused and stressed.

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan started stress eating and abandoned his intense workout regimen and as a result ballooned to the size of Trump’s massive ego. On the complete inverse, Chris Christie, still sore over Trump not picking him as his running mate, lost so much weight running around eager to prove his worth. Gone are the days of the Joe Biden gaffes or “Bidenisms” and Obama is now focusing his efforts on building his own presidential library to remind people that things weren’t always like this.

The USA Freedom kids are suing President Trump because they still have yet to receive payment for their performance and endorsement of his campaign. Once famous for gracing one of Trump’s rallies with their song “Freedom’s Call,” the group is now covering “Mad World.”

No one has heard from the music artists Mac Miller, YG or Nipsey Hussle who all went missing shortly after the inauguration. Journalists are also terrified at the thought of a misstep in a column or article as Trump’s organization starts to buy out major news conglomerates by making them “an offer they couldn’t refuse.”

One of his first actions as president was to fill the void in the Supreme Court left by Justice Scalia’s death. He acknowledged his missteps towards women and appointed Judge Judy as the new Supreme Court Justice.

Sadly, this isn’t the first time President Trump has elected a television personality to a crucial element of government. His Secretary of “D-Fence” is Ty Pennington of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and the head of Homeland Security is Damian Lewis from the show Homeland.

When President Trump was elected, half of the country breathed a sigh of relief as the other half held their breath for what was to come. A large portion of Americans wanted what Trump stood and truly believed he could make a difference.

In a sea of red “Make America Great again” hats and chants of “Killary,” we lost sight of conventional policies, morals and reasoning. President Trump’s policies are questionable to say the least. This is only the beginning of an arduous four years.

Featured image by Gage Skidmore.

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