By Brent Ramirez
Blog Content Contributor
What do guys want in a relationship? Do they even want a relationship? The quick answer is that there isn’t one, and that every individual’s wants are different. We can’t rely on notions and stereotypes when it comes to individuals, but there has to be a reason as to why these stereotypes are even conceived. For a story such as this one, I had to go out and talk to people. I asked both men and women what they thought about men and relationships. The answers all varied, but there were still quite a few that managed to string together.
I went onto social media for answers, talked to friends at work and in class, and there seemed to have been a nearly general consensus. Guys are cheating pigs and all they want at the end of the day is to get in your pants and then bounce, the ole’ hit it and quit it. I received several comments and private messages telling me about personal experiences with dating men. It was one story after another with the nearly the same situation every time, just a different guy, and it was honestly upsetting. As someone who spent so much time trying to be the outlier, someone trying to avoid the stigma, reading these stories and views made me feel like I had done nothing to break the stereotype.
Why, though, does the stereotype exist? Why are men generally painted as thinking with only their dicks, wanting nothing but sex with no regard for feelings? Despite all my efforts to prove that other guys who want more do indeed exist, most of the answers I received said otherwise. Now I don’t have the exact answer as to why a good amount of guys treat women a particular way, but I can speculate. Maybe it’s because men have always lived under the umbrella of masculinity, making it taboo to express feelings and emotions.
“Guys don’t cry!” “Suck it up!” “Be a man!”
Is it this superficial need to repress emotions that drives men to push away? Is it that need to be tough and macho that is the root of this hit it and quit it mind set? Quantity not quality right?
“Get a load of this guy, he just hooked up with six different girls this week!”
Maybe we’re afraid of the responsibilities of a relationship, or maybe it’s about not getting hurt. Are we, as men, too afraid to be the ones on the end of the break up that we choose to seek out only the physical and not the emotional? Perhaps we’re too insecure about ourselves that we need the validation of several partners to make us feel just that much better.
Maybe every other guy’s reasoning for being the way they are can be attributed to one of these ideas, a combination of them or maybe even none of the above. No matter what the reasoning may be, it’s safe to say that these types of guys exist and perhaps these are things you already know. So, what’s the point in trying to date guys anymore? They’re all the same.
Despite the world telling you this, I really encourage you to think otherwise. After all, it’s just a stereotype. There are good guys out there who just want to treat someone right. There are guys out there looking for something genuine and real, and I’m glad to say that a good amount of those who responded to my discussion on social media knew that, despite their past experiences, there are good men out in the world.
So, for those who have had trouble with dating men in the past, don’t give up hope on finding someone who will treat you right. I promise there is someone out there more than willing to give you the love you deserve. To all of the naturally good guys out there, if things aren’t going your way, stop blaming it on the idea that nice guys finish last. Sometimes, people don’t know what they want or realize what they have in front of them, and that’s their fault. But don’t change your ways. Stay true to yourself, and I promise, you’ll find what you’re looking for.
Featured image by Holly Henrichsen.