Finding a Relationship in a Hookup Culture

By Jenise Jackson
Blog Content Contributor

Hookup culture is a widespread acceptance of sexual encounters with no attachments or emotions. It’s no secret that this culture has been commonly associated with college students for years. In fact, more and more young adults are deciding that they just aren’t looking for commitment and consistency in their romantic lives. They just simply want to have sex. Although this works for some people, I know there are individuals like me who just can’t relate. Those who prefer a more serious relationship instead of a casual rendezvous. Even though finding a companion can be a difficult task these days, it isn’t a complete lost cause. And I’m no relationship guru, but I know that you can survive the hookup culture without giving into it. You just have to have the right approach. Here are some tips on how to find a relationship in a hookup culture.

Know Yourself

It is very important to know exactly who you are and what you want from the beginning. Be comfortable with yourself first because confidence truly is key. From there, start to look at your priorities and values and what are you looking for in a partner. Once you have successfully identified what your standards are, you should strive to look for someone who matches them. If a real relationship is what you want, I believe taking the time to assess the qualities that you value is a great start to finding one.

Stop Looking For Love In the Wrong Places

I know a lot of people who run to apps like Tinder expecting to find their perfect match. Although these apps are marketed for dating, most of their users are only interested in hooking up. Instead of just browsing, get out and actually meet people. Go to different events, join clubs that interest you, etc. You never know who you will come across but you’re bound to find some single individuals. Take advantage of these opportunities and interact with new people.

If Someone Isn’t Interested, Accept It and Move On

Not everyone you come in contact with is going to be the right one. Just because someone isn’t interested in starting a relationship, it doesn’t mean that it’s the end of the world. Even if you believe that a person is destined to be your future spouse, it would be a waste of your time to continue pursuing them when they don’t have the same intentions as you. If the odds don’t work in your favor, it’s best that you just accept the situation and move on.  

You Don’t Have To Hookup If You Don’t Want To

Hookups aren’t for everyone, so don’t try to convince yourself that you’re ok with them if you’re not. I’ve seen a lot of people start to consider hooking up after becoming discouraged with the search for love. Never assume that you have to just settle. Holding out for the right one may take longer than you expect it to, but it can be worth it.

Finding the right relationship in college can be tricky, but can be great experience once you finally do. However, don’t feel as if you have to rush or force a relationship. There is nothing wrong with taking your time when it comes to finding a person that is meant for you. If you ever feel like giving up on the quest for your perfect match, just remember that patience can make the best lovers.

Featured illustration by Erin Garrigan.