By Allison L. Johnson
Blog Content Contributor
Even though “sugar daddy” is a term that has become less of a taboo over the years, for some it may still be shocking to believe there are young women that partake in relationships like this. There are even older women, or “sugar mommas”, and younger men that do this as well. A lot of younger college students will joke around about wanting a sugar daddy to pay off their college debt, but oddly enough, there are young men and women who really live like this.
To me, a sugar daddy or momma is an older, wealthy person who just happens to be lonely. They know they can attract a certain demographic just because of what they have to offer, which is usually money. They can also offer to pay for things like college tuition, luxurious vacations, clothing and even monthly allowances that are thousands of dollars. If you were to take money out of the picture, it would just be a relationship that is sort of common, but still not something we’re used to seeing because of the large age gap.
Since there is money involved, this is where people must question if it is morally right. I personally do not believe one bit that sex is never involved between sugar daddy and sugar momma relationships, because sex sells. You’re probably thinking this is prostitution. However, I read in a Huffington Post article that many people do not consider it prostitution because “there is consent from both sides.” Yes, prostitution is illegal, but even if a woman were to make a personal choice to sell her body to support herself, I hope there would be consent regardless.
Maybe their reference to prostitution was sex trafficking, but that’s a whole different conversation. Almost half of the women that use sugar daddy sites are college students. On seekingarrangment.com, most of them are older than 25. Although most aren’t 18-22 like a lot of college students, it is marketed towards college women because they get a premium membership for free if they register with a .edu email.
The men on arrangement sites like seekingarrangment.com and sugardaddyforme.com are are usually over the age 40. Most of them are single; some of them are even married. Their careers range from doctors, lawyers, CEO’s, and Wall street brokers. The sites prefer for users to make at least $250,000 a year. Many of them are millionaires. There are some users that offer their sugar babies up to $20,000 a month!
This can be tempting for both young women and men to use since we’re at an age where we’re becoming responsible for bills and other things, and it’s difficult to save money and have fun. Websites use terms like “never having to worry about paying bills again” or “tuition will never be something to worry about” to lure college students into the business. I know the struggle, but put a lot of thought into this if you have ever thought about trying to be a sugar baby.
If you’re questioning if this is dangerous, do some research on a website. I watch way too much Lifetime. Three years ago, Lifetime produced a movie called Sugar Daddies that focused on the dangerous side of being a sugar baby. The movie wasn’t based on a true story, but it definitely made you think about how things can go wrong, especially when trying to get out of a sugar baby/daddy relationship.
If you want to do your research, read stories that range from positive and negative experiences. Don’t depend on site reviews. Do some extra digging. Of course, websites won’t have horror stories as the first thing to come up when you google an arrangement site. Just be aware people aren’t always who they say they are online. I found a few saying that they didn’t have sex with their sugar daddies. Like I said, I find it hard to believe, but I’m sure there is a very small percentage of sugar daddies who are not interested in having sex with their sugar babies. For some men and women, their mentality might be that it’s just sex, or it’s the same as keeping someone company for money instead of for free.
I really did try to think of this in a positive way. Maybe it is just an older man or woman with a kink for younger partners, nothing else. They don’t want to ever make someone feel uncomfortable or scared. It’s just sex and money, but I just can’t look at a site like this the same way as a hookup app like Tinder or Bumble. I feel like it is absolutely normal for college students to want to hook up with other people their age without strings attached.
Think about this. There are some strings attached with being in a sugar baby relationship, one being money. Money can be the devil sometimes, and I don’t mess with demons! Also think about this, you’re probably going to have some man or woman texting you asking you to drop all your plans one weekend so they can seek your companionship.. don’t think they won’t have rules!
If you are in an arrangement like this, no judgment! Just know the risks.
Be safe out there, sugar babies.
Featured image by Allison Johnson.