By Brent Ramirez
Blog Content Contributor
To the enemies of my past: We all had issues growing up, yet you decided to take them out on me. You were the reason I feared going to gym class. You picked and you picked and you picked on me at such a young age, but the memories have never left me.
To my enemies who preyed on my insecurities: You’ve found that sweet spot. You just reminded me of the things I already knew. It’s one thing to know what worries me most about myself, but to have you use it as ammunition against me had its damage.
To my enemies with no face: You are the easiest to ignore, yet the hardest to fight back. For all I know, you are sitting behind a screen and hiding behind your comments without my knowing my character or understanding my intentions, which troubles me beyond belief. The worst part is knowing that there is not much I can do to change your perception of me.
To my enemies who are also my friends: While you may or may not understand the gravity of your words or actions, just know they are the ones I hold onto dearly. You of all people understand the kind of person I am, the kind who treasures the acceptance of others, especially you. All I ask is that you never take advantage of that.
To my enemies who doubt me: Your constant questioning of my ability has lead me to second guess myself endlessly. You think you understand me and to some degree you actually might, but it’s upsetting to know that my best intentions mean nothing because you don’t believe in me. All of the pressure you’ve exerted on me has taken its toll and has pushed me to edges I once thought I’d never even consider.
To all of my enemies: In doing and being all of these things to me, you have influenced my greatest enemy of all. You’ve given him all that he needs to demoralize me. Thanks to you all, he knows my greatest flaws, inadequacies, shortcomings and then some. You’ve filled his head with ways to bring me down and ideas to tear me apart from the inside, and because of that it has been a never ending conflict between us. He knows just the right things to say to me that can bring me down from the highest highs. Some days it becomes too difficult to even fight back that I don’t bother. Sometimes it’s easier to give in to his constant berating and it’s during these times that I find myself at the lowest of lows.
Despite all of this, I can’t thank my enemies enough. You have all given me the motivation to strive for something greater. Thanks to you all, I have learned so much and grown emotionally. The things you have done and said to me have influenced me in some form and while those dear to me have done the same, it’s the negativity of your criticisms and insults that have driven me most.
So to all of my enemies: Thank you. Despite your destructive efforts, you have given me the strength and determination to look in the mirror everyday and face my greatest enemy.
Featured image by Brent Ramirez.