Contradicting Thy Self

By Asia Daggs
Web Content Manager

Have you ever caught yourself contradicting your own self? Everyday? Unfortunately, I can relate on the highest level possible. It has gotten to the point to where I now self-identify as a walking contradiction.

Before we go any further, let us get the textual definition of contradiction out of the way. Contradiction is a combination of statements, ideas, or features of a situation that are opposed to one another. Examples would be you walking around in 80 degree weather, complaining about how hot you are, but all the while you are wearing long johns and a mink coat or you enjoying your current healthcare plan, but then voting for Donald Trump. Get it?

Now let me begin with the reasons why I, personally, will forever serve as a walking contradiction.

Uno: I like to consider myself as an environmentalist who loves nature and all things God has created, pero if a funky bug lands on me, I am instantly screaming bloody murder. Same thing goes for a couple of specific animals. I try to tell myself that I adore all creatures, but I am sure I could make it without seeing a sloth for the rest of my life. Do not get me wrong though; I enjoy being outside and being ‘one’ with the wilderness. I like the idea of hiking, petting zoos, nature walks and all of those other types of outdoor activities. However, I prefer to go at a time where the insects are not out and about. Is that too much to ask?

Dos: Unfortunately (but not really), I have a sailor’s mouth. I honestly have a love\hate relationship with it. Cursing is a way for me to be expressive, funny, or even just a way to release anger. I also end up taking into consideration how cursing can tie into culture; in ethnic communities, slang and/or ebonics can contain curse words in certain words or phrases. So in some ways, I feel like it is apart of me that I should not be ashamed of. On the other hand, it can be seen as unladylike or unprofessional. I know what you are probably thinking… “Who cares?”. I do! I would hate for someone to think of me differently due to how I express myself. At the same time, I  know I should not care for other’s perceptions of me… I just do not know what to do with myself.

Tres: I have two words for you… Social life. Do I want friends or do I hate humankind? Am I okay with being a social recluse or do I want to be a social butterfly? Questions I must ask myself on a daily basis. When I am sitting in bed on Friday night, I long to be outgoing and go hang out with a group of friends. However, when I am around more than 3 people at once, I imagine myself fading into black until I am back in the safety of my bed. Why am I like this? I need answers.

I am hoping for some of you to relate to at least one of these examples. If not, it will be confirmed that my daily struggles are not normal. Comment below to share your personal struggles; I would love to hear them! Really… I need to know it is not just me.

Featured illustration by Joseph Wallace.