By Rikki Yanez
Blog Content Contributor
Being single is like a roller coaster. I say this because being single takes your emotions from up to down and side to side. This roller coaster is constantly changing your thoughts about being single or wanting to be in a relationship, and sometimes those thoughts can go a bit haywire. You could be on the highest part of the ride and feel like you should be with every guy out there just because you can. However, you can be on the calmest part and feel like you are truly free since no one is holding you back. Deciding which roller coaster to take can determine what kind of emotions you’ll feel and what thoughts that will run though your mind while being single.
Being single you tend to realize couples are all around you and it makes you feel envious of those who have the opportunity to be intimate with someone. At times I felt as if love wasn’t real and all of these people around were just putting up a facade in order to make not only me but others feel bad about themselves. Couples are everywhere, so when you are feeling these types of feelings, negative thoughts tend to go through your mind constantly. For example, you see everyone around you is expressing their love by hand holding, hugging and even kissing, and it just makes you feel repulsed or angry. This was the case for me, and although I felt angry it also made me feel sad on the inside since I secretly wished I had a significant other. However, I realize these thoughts were too outrageous and I should change my life around if this is something that I really wanted. These thoughts soon lead to the idea that I should start dating.
Everyone has different thoughts of how you should act when you are single. However, for those who have lived the single life for a very long time, you tend to find yourself doing things you never thought you would do. Years into being single you get tired of living by the rules society makes and go against all the social stigmas there are about how to date, who to date, and how many people you can date. I know at one point of my life I found myself playing with the thought of dating multiple people at once. I figured, I’m free to do as I please and it will help me figure out what I want in a relationship, so why not give it a shot? After spending awhile dating I started feeling not like myself. I came to not like the life I was living, mostly because I was leading people on and it was really exhausting having to keep up with all of the people. That free feeling was no longer something I was had and I didn’t have any time to myself, so I had to make some changes.
Figuring Yourself Out
After I realized I needed to make some changes, I also realized I hadn’t really done anything for myself or didn’t really know what I wanted in life, or more specifically in a relationship. Since I’m still unsure what I want I decided to focus more on myself, rather than staying on this emotional roller coaster. The process of figuring myself out is its own part of the ride, and it makes everything feel less intense than before. I’m starting to think of being single as a positive thing and maybe even be content with it. I realized that my time, education, and future career are the things I wanted to focus more on in this point of my life.
On this roller coaster I’ve learned to not really let my emotions and thoughts get the best of me, because sometimes things always don’t work out how I want them to be. I channeled all the stigmas around me and used that energy to motivate me to better my future as well as myself. I don’t regret how I felt or who I was with since it has prepared me for future whether that’s being single, being in a relationship or my future self.
Featured image by Rikki Yanez.