A white phone showcasing a yellow heart with a unallowed sign across it. All on a yellow background.

Dating Apps Aren’t for Dating

By Timia Cobb
Web Content Contributor

I admit it; I have a problem when it comes to dating apps. No matter the amount of bad pick up lines and blunt sexual banter I’m faced with, I continue to use them. Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Hily– I have literally had a profile on every mainstream dating app in the last three years. The only reason I find this bizarre is because I’ve only gone on one successful date from using dating apps. Nonetheless, that one date did lead to a relationship, which lead to a very loving friendship. However, you would think after three years of using all these apps, I would’ve had made many more fortunate encounters. As I reflect on the many guys I’ve talked to using these apps, I start to see that using apps to date maybe isn’t the way we should be dating, or it at least shouldn’t be our way of finding a meaningful relationship.

In this generation, dating apps have started to lean more towards “hook-up” apps. No one takes Tinder, Bumble, etc. seriously, because they have slowly developed the label of hitting and quitting, literally and figuratively. Some only use these apps when they want a hookup (hitting), and then never use it again until they’re looking for another one (quitting). I feel this is where dating apps messed up for me. The sexual approaches from men greatly outnumber the guys who just want to talk and find a relationship. I feel as though dating apps that have this problem should either try to make their apps more compliant to those who are looking for relationships or publicly advertise that their apps are mainly for those wanting hookups.

The men on dating apps also make me want to hold grudges against all men. Tinder, at one point, made me never want to talk to men ever again; however, that mindset sadly didn’t last long. Dating apps show just how grotesque people’s personalities can be. No one would ever walk up to a random stranger they found attractive and tell them everything they wanted to do to them sexually. So why is it ok to make people feel uncomfortable on dating apps? Just because you are looking for a hookup doesn’t mean the person you’re sexually harassing is too.

Dating apps just make me think that men don’t know how to talk to women– or at least the guys who have tried to talk to me don’t. I don’t know why the first thought for a good conversation starter is to make a small remark about my color, but it’s weird. The conversations on dating apps are usually going to be horrible, one-sided or heart fluttering. I have had plenty of conversations where I felt as if the guy I was talking to was worth going on a date with, but then they ghosted me or annoyingly asked for my Snapchat. I know from experience now that nothing good comes after a guy asks you for your Snapchat. No girl wants unexpected pictures of a guy she barely knows.

All these reasons can make you clearly see that dating apps can suck but for the people who are shy or have anxiety, it’s helpful. The only reason I use dating apps is because I’m way too shy to go up to a guy I find attractive and start a conversation. Dating apps were made to make dating easier, which is super helpful for a lot of people. But, these apps have made dating so easy that we’ve started to skip the getting to know someone and have jumped head first into getting in bed with them.

Featured image by Timia Cobb.

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