Two white hearts outlined in red paint, one saying, "They love me!" The other saying "They love me not?" On a black background.

Hi Friend Zone

By Timia Cobb
Web Content Contributor 

The friend zone is a place of importance, self discovery, sadness, jealousy, loneliness, etc. In general it can be many things but it will inevitably always be the friend zone. The closest thing I can describe the friendzone as is the sunken place from Jordan Peele’s “Get out”. It’s a dark hollow hole that’s hard to escape from but you possibly could have avoided it if you were aware it was a thing beforehand.

The friend zone isn’t a bad place especially when you’re the person enforcing it, however it still doesn’t feel good to be friend zoned. 

The friend zone puts people in a situation to see someone they care about grow as a person, love other people, cry over people who were never worth it and hiding emotions that possibly will never be reciprocated. The worst thing about the friend zone is how it can emotionally break someone and end relationships.  

To be emotionally invested in someone who doesn’t feel the same way hurts. If emotions had an off switch it would be an easy fix, but they don’t. 

The situation becomes more complicated when you add the factor of a friendship not worth losing because romantic feelings got in the way. It can be scary loving someone so much that you decide to love them in silence because confessing your feelings might result in losing them. However, in the end this is the decision it might come to.

When your the person enforcing the friend zone you might not even realize it, but if you do, then you’re allowed to set boundaries and hope whoever you set these boundaries with respects them. For unknown reasons movies, TV and media has set an agenda that if someone is in the friend zone they should try their hardest to get out of it. Which is super disrespectful. 

This only leads to the person you like feeling peer pressured or uncomfortable. Repeatedly telling yourself that you have a chance with someone who has made it clear that all they want is friendship could hinder whatever relationship you have with them. 

There are various types of friend zones. For instance, two people could only be friends because one of them isn’t ready for a relationship but could be in the future. This can be described as a give-and-take relationship. The reason for that is because both of the friends might like each other but one of them usually likes the other way more.

Correspondingly, the friend who likes the other friend more might feel as though they’re putting their heart on the line while the other friend doesn’t seem to care enough. This type of relationship usually is only resolved by being adults and communicating with each other. 

Another type is a disgustingly cute version when two people obviously like each other but are too shy or oblivious to realize it. This can be resolved by one of them getting jealous or just admitting their feelings to the other.

An important part about the friend zone is setting boundaries. When their the only person you ever talk to our spend time with, it will become more complicated to stop romantic feelings from arising. 

Friends don’t have to hang out everyday. Distance yourself from them and sort your feelings out. Make more friends or meet other potential romantic partners. This will allow that build-up of romantic feelings to be dispersed resulting in it not being as difficult as it usually is around the person you like.  

If you or someone you know finds themself in the friendzone make them question why their in it and ask “are they OK with being just the friend?”

Featured image by Timia Cobb.

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