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Advice from Timia: Are They Leading You On?

By Timia Cobb
Web Content contributor

Love and relationships, they seem so bittersweet. Thousands of us long for the comfort and happiness of finding someone who’s finally ours. However, in the long dreary quest of finding that perfect someone, we come across many selfish heartless bastards that make us want to give up on relationships altogether.

Seeing that most of us are oblivious and blind to our feelings, we can’t always differentiate the frogs from the princes. We can’t tell if the person we’re putting ourselves out there for is interested or if they are leading us on.

It seems like you do everything with them: you hang out, you talk all the time, you are intimate but somehow the label of a relationship is nonexistent and never talked about. When you ask them about it, they say they aren’t ready for a relationship.

Nonetheless, your relationship with this person is just like any normal romantic relationship. They, however; might just not want to have an official relationship with you.

They like having someone around and expect that person to always be there for them, but that isn’t fair to the person who likes them. This is leading someone on.

They might want a relationship in the future, but as of now, they string the person who likes them along, never expecting them not to wait or leave.

You might be young, but never waste your time on someone who doesn’t deserve you or takes you for granted. It’s emotionally draining to want someone and it hurts for them to only want you when they’re bored.

It will make you feel as though you are not good enough or that you are the problem.

For the person you like, to want you one day and not the next is manipulative. It shows that that person might not want a relationship but sees you as gullible enough to keep you around and get what they want whenever they want it.

Although this may sound horrible, some will think that they could never be used in this way but it could easily happen. Being manipulated or led on can sadly make someone fight even harder for that dream relationship they’ve made themselves believe can happen.

Being in relationships like this can cause someone to have a hard time in future relationships. When you become used to being used, lead on and lied to, you start to expect it from any person you want to be in a relationship with.

 However, not every person is the same, but because of what someone went through in the past, it can stop them from having a happy and healthy future.

No one should lead others on because it doesn’t do anyone any good. It confuses relationships and results in people getting hurt.

Some might not even realize they are leading a person on, so here are some signs if you are.

The first sign is selfishly using up someone’s time but never dedicating time for them. This is using someone as a means which is wrong because it shows you don’t respect them.

Another sign can be, keeping them around because you feel lonely but have no plans to commit. Everyone gets lonely and it’s understandable to want to have someone to depend on, but it becomes toxic when the only reason you want them around is that you do want to be alone.

To truly know if someone is leading you on depends on the situation, but never let someone manipulate you. If you feel you deserve better then you do.

Featured image by Timia Cobb via Canva.

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