Bruh face with lots of squgglies in the background to represent irritation

How to Annoy

By Gena Sysavath
Web Content Contributor

As a professional annoyance to practically everyone in my life, let me give all of you some pointers on being the most annoying person you can be to family and friends. For me, it is a natural born gift and therefore do not feel bad if you do not get the hang of it easily. Trust me, I got you, because these are just a few things that I have done to get a groan or glare out of the people in my life.

The perfect wake up

My oh-so-very dear baby sister and I have the complete opposite morning wake-up montage. My internal alarm-clock will always have me waking up before 9. I am technically awake by 7, but that’s my parents’ fault. On the other hand, my sister will be asleep until noon and if she must wake up early, she will need at least ten different alarms set up for an hour before she has to actually get ready. 

So, I am up but refusing to actually get out of the bed, before a creeping thought comes to me: how should I wake up my sister today? 

Usually it ends up with me kicking her (softly) until she nears the edge of the bed and simply slips off. Sometimes I will turn the light on and off until she realizes that the darkness that she impedes herself in is being interrupted. OR I do what my parents use to do to me and make a large amount of noise until she screams at me to shut up. Clanging around pots and pans or using a vacuum tends to do the trick. 

I really do have to wake her up, though. I can not allow her to sleep in, that is just super unproductive of her.

The mocking tactic

Alright, so this is something I always do with quite literally everyone, especially if they are the ones annoying me first. My sister and I will consistently do this to one another and our parents. All you do is listen to whatever a person is saying and repeat the exact same things but in an exaggerated tone and some movement. 

For example, when my sister rants about anything, I will pick and choose what she says and repeat a line in a very nasally tone with maybe a hand on my hip or a roll of my eye. She would usually stop talking for a second to flip me off and then continue her story. It ends up being a repetitive game for us to see who can mock each better, which in turns will get louder and louder until our parents get just as annoyed. 

The method of sound

Now warning, this one can truly irritate someone, so if you do it, make sure that the person will be able to handle you. When someone talks, maybe try to use the sounds around you and have it gradually get it louder. Such as tapping your nails on the table or maybe you are playing with a pen and clicking it constantly as someone talks to you. This one is more psychological and can for sure play with someone’s mind, so maybe only do this when you are mad or not at all. It is kind of a crap thing to do.

However, you can also use loud noises to annoy people, as I am sure most people know. Play your music loudly and not turn it off when asked to. You can dance and move with the music as you try to distract whoever. Loud sounds could either annoy someone or have them play along until you annoy someone else in the vicinity.

Text-bombing

I do not actually do this because I prefer annoying people in person. However, this is something people have done to me and other friends I know, and trust me, this can be pretty annoying and definitely deserve a spot. 

Texting someone who you obviously know is busy, does not check their phone, or is sleeping. Deciding to text them paragraphs of literally nothing can be one of the most bothersome to some people. If you want to annoy someone from afar, you can just keep texting someone until they finally decide to text back. Do not expect a text back but you can always hope. They will have to be aware of your existence even if you are not anywhere near them and that in itself, is the greatest annoyance.

Featured image by Gena Sysavath.

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