By Sam Burzinski Blog Content Contributor "Hey Fred, saw your fat *ss on the six o' clock news last night." -Jim Gaffigan “Remember: if you're not sure about eating something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's your window to weight gain!" -Dr. Nick Riviera I make no avoidances when it comes to discussing the fact that I am a bigger guy than most. […]
By Sam Burzinski Blog Content Contributor I have a few bones in my body. Roughly 206 of them, if we want to be precise. Unlike many of my past elementary school peers, never in my life have I broken a single one of them, a fact that I chalk up to my deep affinity for milk. I drank milk day in and day out throughout my formative years with the […]
By Sam Burzinski Blog Content Contributor If you’ve ever been to a movie a little bit on the earlier side, you may have caught the last few minutes of whatever pre-show sequence the movie theater is contractually obligated to display before each picture. Usually it’s some assortment of trivia, pleas to join newsletters for things you don’t care about, or the same M&M's commercial that’ll be there until the end […]
By: Sam Burzinski Blog Content Contributor Well, here we are, folks. Yet another International Women’s Day, the day in which we celebrate roughly 50.5% of the world’s population, at least according to the US Census Bureau. Aren’t women cool? I say this without a single lick of irony in my tone here: women are cool, awesome and generally necessary to the functioning of modern society! Girlboss! I think if we […]
A Sam Burzinski Joint Blog Content Contributor “Motherf**k a window. Radio Raheem is dead.” I think people tend to overlook just how much of a wild landscape New York was for a great deal of America’s history. It wasn’t until Rudy Giuliani (ew.) came into mayorhood in the ‘90s that Times Square went from a porn-theater-crime-ridden place to avoid in the city to the modern city center that it’s become […]
By Sam Burzinski Web Content Contributor I’m a normal guy; I’m just like you! I pay my taxes, put my pants on one leg at a time and I had a massive crush on the girl who played Iago in my sophomore year English class reading of “Othello!” Shakespeare is probably England’s best export, barring those Heinz beans, and the people love the Bard like nobody’s business. In particular, everybody […]
By Sam Burzinski Blog Content Contributor What kind of attachment do I have to Shrek? Sure, it seems every kid born from 1995 through 2013 knows Shrek like a close friend, and he was unanimous Meme MVP of 2017, but me? I didn’t see the first one until I was 13, “Shrek 2” is a film I enjoy well enough and I saw the final two sequels when they came […]
By Sam Burzinski Blog Content Contributor A short drum intro, and then: “Blank Check with Griffin and David. Blank Check with Griffin and David. Don’t know what to say or to expect, all you need to know is that the name of the show is Blank Check!” Thus, is the intro song for the podcast “Blank Check with Griffin and David.” The hosts of nearly every single episode are actor […]
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