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What’s a Homewrecker?

todayFebruary 19, 2016 41

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By Helen Wang
Blog Content Contributor

Photo by Katie Tegtmeyer via Flickr
Photo by Katie Tegtmeyer via Flickr

“She’s a homewrecker!” “She stole my man!” “She ruined my relationship!” What do all of these sayings have in common? They are all targeted at the ‘she’ in this scenario. Why are girls so quick to get mad at some random girl their partner cheated on them with but not as mad at the fact that their partner cheated?

If you’re walking your dog and it charges and bites another dog it sees on the street, you wouldn’t get mad and hit the random dog would you? No. Instead you would get mad at your own dog because he’s suppose to know better. Girls will go as far as fighting the “other woman” but still end up forgiving their partner. Why is that?

We all choose to believe what we want to and sometimes that means turning a blind eye. As messed up as it may sound, we achieve a sense of control and superiority when we attack the other woman instead of the man we kiss every night before we go to sleep. Because somewhere deep down, we know it’ll hurt a lot worse to realize the person closest to us has betrayed us as opposed to getting mad and taking a couple cheap shots at a stranger.

Now I’m not saying the other woman is completely blameless because she should know better than to go after someone that’s taken but then again, all is fair in love and war right? She can throw herself at him as many times as she wants but he’s suppose to push her away.

If you’ve ever been cheated on or betrayed, you should know just how crazy and painful the experience is. It makes you so angry at the fact that he ruined your relationship because you know now, even if you get past this, that the mark will always be there. Maybe if it was a drunk one night stand after a long time, you guys can somehow work past it but emotional cheating is something that will always linger around so it’ll be better to just rip the band aid off quickly and know no matter how much it hurts it’s just time to throw the band aid away. We might always want to have a clean-cut breakup but that never seems to be the case. We will cry, binge eat or binge starve, attempt to ruin the other woman’s life, cry some more and drink. Lots and lots of drinking.

Eventually, we will settle on blaming ourselves and after listening to him begging for you back, maybe we will decide to give it another chance. Maybe it really was a moment of weakness, we’ll tell ourselves. Then sooner or later, we will dispose all the blame onto the other woman because deep down, we know picturing our loving boyfriend/spouse going up to some girl and giving her the love he gives to you is just too hard to think about. So we push it to the back of our mind and continue on with our lives while blaming the “homewrecker.”

He could have never told her he was married or taken, he could have played the guilt trip card by telling her how mistreated he is in his loveless relationship that’s about to end anyways or maybe he’s straight up and honest with her telling her he just wants a good time with someone new. The other woman is just another woman who wants to feel wanted and wants to believe anything that’s thrown at her to validate her actions of being attracted to someone she’s not suppose to.

Blaming the other woman misses where the real issues are. She is just a prop that was there to test your man and he failed. He is the one who went outside the “home” and wrecked your relationship. Blaming her won’t solve anything; if he could be so easily derailed by some pretty girl you call a homewrecker, who’s to say there isn’t going to be another homewrecker in the future? Are “Homewreckers” a real thing? Who opened the door for her to come in and wreck the home in the first place?

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