How to Combat Jealousy in a Relationship

By Brittney Hemmands
Blog Content Contributor

When in a relationship, we cling on tightly to the person we love. Whether it is just weeks, months, or years into the partnership we all tend to feel possessive over our significant other. In fact, many (if not all of us) have heard quotes such as “what is mine is mine” or “do not touch what is mine” when referring to lovers. Loyalty is something we thrive on and the way we find security in a relationship, but even when our partner is not cheating on us we still seem to find the green monster of jealousy pulsing through our veins. Nowadays, there are cases of jealousy that have to do with someone liking the opposite sex’s picture or talking to the opposite sex. Although some may argue these instances are insecurity issues from certain individuals, I think there is something that we all forget while in a relationship: we were chosen.

I am not talking about some God-sent path that is supposed to lead you to your soulmate; it is a much more simpler than that. We were chosen by our lovers because out of the billions of individuals out in the world, they still picked you. Regardless if they look at another person’s picture or look in the direction of someone else, we must remember that attraction is a human instinct. We are going to find other people attractive, but that is not a deciding factor that will make people cheat. If a relationship is built on a grounded foundation, the physical aspects of someone will not be the only thing that is thought about. A relationship is about mental and spiritual attraction, and how well a person’s personality gets along with another’s. When someone really appreciates all that you are, finding another person attractive will not propel them to cheat because they know that you have more to offer.

So when you catch yourself feeling rage because your significant other liked another person’s picture, think about these questions: Will my significant other leave me because they find someone else attractive? If so, do I want to stay in this relationship even though they do not fully value me?

We know that we can’t make every person in the world seem unattractive to the one we are with and it is unrealistic to think that. On the other hand, I am not saying this is an invitation to go out of your way to look at or talk to other people of the opposite sex because you should still be putting your attention into the one person who deserves it more than anyone. What I am saying is, if you know your partner is loyal and gives you the attention they should, a simple like on Instagram should not be the start of the argument. Instead, appreciate your lover for who they are and remind yourself they chose you.

Featured image by Renee Dominguez.