Depression Is…

By Alexandria Erwin
Blog Content Contributor

“Sometimes I can’t get out of bed. Not because I’m lazy, or tired. But because I physically cannot get up. I can’t think of anything that would be worth getting up and doing without draining me to the point where I wish I was right back where I started. I feel nothing, I am numb,” – Anonymous.

Typically, when talking about depression today’s society often tends to classify it as one of two things. If you’re depressed, you either A) have a serious mental disorder/you’re  crazy, or B) you’re just really sad. For those of you that have this perception, let me clear things up for you.

Depression is like having a grey filter over your entire life. Nothing is exciting or pleasurable, and if anything that feeling seems to last for only a split second and then you are right back to square one.

depressionis featured image
Having depression is the emotional equivalent of watching paint dry. Photo courtesy of Anna Borges.

It is the feeling of being so numb and fatigued, you can’t even gather enough energy to get up, shower and move along with your day. Depression is not going to the grocery store because the thought of getting dressed, grabbing your keys, driving to the store and getting what you need all feels overwhelming.

It’s seeing this ugly, grey version of yourself and watching every last bit of color leave yourself without having any control of keeping it. Depression is worrying that your grey will rub off on others, so you keep it to yourself or keep yourself away all together. Feeling like all those people are against you because they don’t understand what you’re going through, and you know you’re a drag.

Depression is seeing all these things about yourself and feeling like you have no control of what’s happening, so you blame yourself for not being better. It is a cycle. It feels like being sunken into your own head no matter where you go. The constant feeling that you’re in your own world and no matter what anyone does they can’t reach you, and you can’t reach them.

Depression is disconnection, BUT Depression can be temporary.

It is important to realize that this illness can be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain and the person who has it should know it is not their fault. So, yes, depression can be a serious mental health issue and some people who are depressed are really sad, but it’s extremely important to know that those two things are not all that it is. Once society realizes this, we as a community can help pave the road to recovery for those who need the help to get moving in the first place.

And to my fellow depressive reader:

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! The sooner you realize this, the faster you’ll find recovery. I hope your world becomes brighter. Texas State Counseling Services are free and provided by trained professionals to current enrolled students while classes are in session.

Featured image courtesy of Anna Borges.

Kaitlin Stubbs

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