Holding on to Empty Friendships

By Rikki Yanez
Blog Content Contributor

Do you ever find yourself questioning if the people you have called friends for months, or even years, are supporting you or paying attention to what you have to say? Perhaps, when you hang out their constant response to almost all plans are “I don’t care,” or something along those lines. When you make time to hang out with these friends are they just constantly on their phone and not really engaging in conversation? If you think about it, do these so-called friends motivate you to reach your goals? If the answer is no, yet you continue to play this charade then you might be holding on to an empty friendship.

After finishing my two years at a community college back in my hometown, Harlingen, and moving to San Marcos in 2016 to further my education was exciting to me. The thought of living on my own for the first time, getting the full college experience, as well as learning new things was something I hadn’t experienced before and was yearning to. However, once I got here and began the semester I realized I didn’t know anyone here–let alone have any friends. I made a couple friends and began to hang out with them, and at first I could tell that the friendship seemed like it didn’t fit, but I figured things would get better the more I got to know them.

rikki blog
I have come to accept being on my own. Photo by Rikki Yanez.

Entering 2018, I’ve realized that these friendships have gone nowhere and I’m right where I started. The only upside to the friendships is that I just know these people better. Just to be clear, these so-called friends I have are just who they are and haven’t wronged me in any way. My main thing is they just don’t show any interest in the sort of things I like and don’t really care about doing anything at all. I find myself now realizing that I’ve only been holding on to these friendships because I’m avoiding being alone, being bored and dealing with problems on my own. These people might not care, but I’ve gotten so comfortable being in these friendships and the only reason I didn’t remove them from my life is because during the hard times I’ve been through they were at least there for me to talk to instead of leaving me alone.

It took me so long to realize why I was keeping myself in these stagnant and sometimes toxic friendships. Some things to do to overcome these friendships is talk to these friends about it and put more effort into the friendship as well. After awhile of hanging out with people who just don’t care, it tends to have the same effect on you at some point or another. If they don’t change then some major prioritizing is going to have to happen. Let’s face it: who you hang out with will have an effect on your life and your well-being. It’s okay to get rid of people in your life who don’t motivate or support you. You can always make more friends at some point or another.

Featured illustration by Joey Gamboa.

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