How to Turducken (but not actually)

By Gena Sysavath
Web Content Contributor

I have a problem.

For some reason, when I get an idea, I always decide to do it. It’s a real inconvenience for both me and my friends. Mostly to my friends.

Let me give you a rundown on how the Turducken came to be. Basically, I watch a lot of food channels on YouTube and ended up watching a professional competitive eater eat a turducken.

That was about a year ago and I have never looked back at it again. You might ask: what is a turducken? A turducken is a chicken stuffed inside a duck that is stuffed inside a turkey. That’s it. That’s a turducken.

I wanted to make one. I don’t even like turkey. I just wanted the satisfaction of saying “I made that turducken,” and then act all smug even though I know no one cares. So that was my plan, my idea, I take full credit for this decision.

But there was a problem. I can’t cook for the life of me, so I decided to gather some old friends who were willing to deal with my dumb butt. It started with me texting one of them over a year ago saying, “let’s make a turducken” and unquestionably he replied with “let’s do it” followed by a “what is it?”

I then gathered two more friends by texting them the day of, “hey, want to help me out with a turducken?” And they both were too nice to say no. So, they also came.

Sprinkle in the fact that only one of us knew how to cook so she did most of the work, while the rest of us were basically useless. But we all participated in this monstrosity, I was satisfied.

Then I took a bite– and it just went downhill.

Due to COVID-19, we were all tested before gathering to make this mistake. Don’t come at us, we were safe.

So, let’s watch some amateurs do some stupid stuff:

The video isn’t much, mostly because we kept cutting off whenever we actually did anything, therefore also cutting off the parts where we’re actually entertaining. The editing skills were of my friend’s and since none of us have actual skills, it looks like a high school project. There’s honestly a lot more clips, we just don’t know how to edit. Hence, amateurs.

But all I’m saying is that we did it. You can see the product.

P.S. I got food poisoning. I was the only one to get food poisoning.

Featured image by Gena Sysavath.

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