Self-Love, Not Self-Absorbed

By Brittney Hemmands
Blog Content Contributor

Loving yourself first has become a popular notion in society, but are we taking it too far? That would be a far-fetched conclusion, because there is no such thing as too much love. Loving yourself teaches you how to love others and reminds you not to settle for less, so if there is anything we need more of, it is self-love. What the question should really be is: where do we draw the line between self-love and self-absorption? The difference seems simple; self-love is defined as thinking about one’s well being and joy while self-absorption is defined as only caring for one’s self and no one else. What is terrifying is that as a society, we may be promoting the latter without even realizing it.

Nourishing your body with food, appreciating the way you look, and thinking positive thoughts about yourself are just a few recommendations for loving yourself more. These are good; they help your inner being by raising your confidence. However, there is also a trend towards disregarding other people’s feelings to make one feel better. The seemingly harmless obsession with having to state “I look better than these other girls/boys” and the degrading your friend/acquaintances’ achievements to ones of your own is not self-love. Self-love uplifts other people to find love within themselves too, it does not tear others down.

Not knowing the difference can make you forget your initial purpose. When sitting down and thinking about the amount of years you may have left on this earth, there are a few questions that might arise. What do I want to do in life and what do I want to leave behind when I am no longer here? As humans, we have this manifestation to have a higher purpose and make an impact on the Earth. When you show love to yourself, you can easily show love to others, which helps determine what you want to do to impact others. When you are self-absorbed, you may miss your purpose by focusing too much on yourself and forgetting that this is the only life you have to live. We also cannot forget that we thrive on connections; it was even necessary for a healthy development when we were kids. In order to make those connections, we have to remember to understand people without putting ourselves above them.

So let us make a difference. Promote self-love within yourself, but also promote it in others. We have the power to cause change and create a better world, and we were not born to become so engulfed with ourselves that we forget about everyone else. Remember, the more love you give to yourself, the more love you can give to others, and the more love you will receive. Encourage body positivity and encourage yourself, but be careful not to invalidate other people’s feelings and stay away from obsessing over yourself too much, as you may miss the bigger picture.

Featured image by Jessica Calderon.